Tuesday, August 31, 2010

All the beautiful men we've lost.

You're all so heavy on my heart.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'll wear your black eyes, bake you apple pies.

I'll always be by your side.

This city is where I run to when everything is going amazing & I want to share my happiness with my friends & family.
This city is where I run to when everything falls apart.

I'm torn between cities, even states.

I'm not sure if I am just getting older, or if I am just in a state of desiring something different nowadays, I feel like i'm craving peace.

These days i've been dreaming of a small 40's military inspired house, one floor. With a sunken living room, with a small fenced backyard where Honda can run free. It will have a small garden out front of only different colored daisies & sunflowers. In the backyard I will grow different vegetables, and come fall, pumpkins.

In the mornings, I will sit on the stoop of the house drinking my necessary morning coffee- 2 sugar/2 cream, while watching Honda chase butterflies.

I will take the curlers out of my hair, and slip into my favorite dress. I will grab a homemade cupcake for the road, and Honda & I will hop into my 52 belair heading to work. I will own my own vintage store & barbershop, where everyone in the city comes to dress their finest & look their best. Friends will pop by for a milkshake, a cup of tea, a hug, or a chat. At the end of a long day, I will head out of the city, back home

Nights I wont hear anything, except for trains passing in the distance, & Honda snoring. I will sit at my vanity, watching re runs of I Love Lucy, while putting curlers in my hair before bed.

My life will be simple & peaceful.

Monday, May 10, 2010

So... I figured if the times get tough, I just gotta get tougher.

I consider this a blessing in disguise, because maybe this is the kick I needed to get motivated & get my life together.
For the last two days I have hardly slept, and have been researching how to make all of these dreams a reality. A very big reality.

I think I've decided to go back to school.
10 months of my life, in all reality is pretty minimal, if it gives me the tools to do what I want to do with my life.
Once i'm in business mode, I just don't stop.

I'm in the middle of writing a business plan, it is absolutely terrifiying & exciting.
My inspiration is strange, because I hold her on a pedestal of everything I dont want to become; everything i refuse to become.

I suppose this is for all the people who told me I couldn't do it, or wouldn't do it; that I could never make anything of my life.
I've got post it notes everywhere of possibilities, and I honestly feel like i've got the whole world in my hands.

.. and the best part is, I know i'm doing this alone, and I'm really okay with that.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

This is what my future consists of:

If I recall the last thing you said to me..

"You look happy, you should keep it up. Drink another beer"

Rest in Peace, Dev.. Rest in peace.

We always ran into eachother at the same place, you would think we planned it.
& you'd stick your tongue out at me from across the bar.
Then you'd stumble you're way over, & make some entirely innappropriate joke, loud enough for everyone to hear, & it would make me laugh so hard i'd cry.

It's a good thing i've got you right now.

"Give me mercy and I need it now,
I’m a bleed a little poison out,
I’m a cry a little river down
and then I’m setting this whole thing on fire"

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Big time trouble.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Someone asked me today what my criteria for a boyfriend was, & she listed off what hers was.
Most of them were not serious, but hilarious nonetheless.. it got me brainstorming.
So, i suppose this is mine:

- Must be nice ( I just realised that this needs to be on top of the list, several days later)
- Can't sleep with anyone else while we're dating ( it seems a bit crazy that I actually have to put that out there, but atleast if I clarify .. it wont happen again.)
- Can't be over 40. Actually, scratch that.. Cant be over 34.( 34 seems like a good, solid age to be a cut off, right?)
- Must be able to put up with the fact I WILL spill food &/or drink everywhere & anywhere.
- Not get embaressed when I laugh so hard that I snort( it happens alot)
- Must be into making blanket forts. Yes, I'm serious.
- Must not be an Aries. Frealz.
- Will not make me go on rollercoasters or anything to do with heights. .& if he does, put up with the fact that I WILL have a mental breakdown.
- Must love my dog Honda, as much as I do.
- Must be able to sit through "Total Recall" & quote the movie with my dad & I.
- Must be able to deal with the fact that I have freak outs at night, & will probably call at unruley times of night for a need to be calmed down.
- His favorite kind of beer needs to be PBR.
- He probably shouldn't check out girls in front of me. And if he does, be alright with the fact that I'm gunna smack him upside the head.
- Have facial tattoos( sorry dad)
-Preferably from Jersey ( thanks Chris & Katie, glad you guys got my back on this one)
- Be okay with the fact that I will someday have facial tattoo's and it may or may not read " LA"
- Must be a terrible dancer, but loves dancing anyways
- Wont get so drunk that he throws up all over himself, & then lies about it.
- Makes me laugh so hard that my face is sore.
- Preferably not in a band- I haven't had much luck in that department so far.
-Doesn't look at himself in the mirror, more than he looks at me.
- Not tell me that he wants to marry me & move to a forest.
- Can't be a dirtbag.

So, I just noticed that this list is basically a huge mix of what all my ex boyfriends have done wrong.

Stay tuned.. this list will get bigger & better.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I have never been as excited to sleep in my own bed, as I was last night.

I miss Honda like crazy. I get to see him tonight after work, and i'm so excited to bring him home, unpack & get back to normal living again.

I just wrote a huge paragraph about how much I miss/missed you, and deleted it.
You don't need to know that sort of thing.

Really?! are you into that kinda thing? Into that kinda girl?
Well, that's a disappointment.

Can I just fast track to about a month or two from now?

Stop looking into it.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Meet me tonight in Atlantic City

"Now our luck may have died and our love may be cold
But with you forever I'll stay
Were goin out where the sands turnin to gold
Put on your stockins baby, `cause the nights getting cold"

I finished packing. Finally.
I almost like not having a phone. It can be relieving that no one can get ahold of me.

Oh, and you're a dime a dozen.
and apparently so am I.

I'm so terribly good at lurking, and probably shouldn't do it anymore.. considering what i'm looking for isn't gunna help.